Chuck Norris jokes

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A semi-tanker truck once accidently spilled 30,000 gallons of petroleum jelly on I-35 in Texas. A schoolbus load of unsuspecting cheerleaders then got rear-ended by Chuck Norris.

War of The Worlds was actually a documentary- all the aliens died out after Chuck Norris dealt with them.

Life comes at you fast; Chuck Norris's Fist comes at you faster!!!

Chuck Norris splits firewood with his shlong.

If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could give himself a barium enema with his own dick.

Chuck Norris won the America's Cup sailing in a rubber raft.

When Chuck Norris destroys a pub in Britain, everybody there says that 'he caused a right royal Chuckus'.

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked this fact.

Chuck Norris was deep in the Amazon Jungle when 3 head hunters came sneaking up behind him. When they realized it was Chuck Norris, all 3 threw down their spears and ran screaming into the jungle.

Chuck Norris once fell into a pit full of rattle snakes. He emerged 10 minutes later while smartly clad in his new vest, belt and boots.